I’m a software developer and lately I can’t see where my life is going.
I’ve applied for so many jobs. Most don’t even respond. You send an application and somewhere in your head you’re thinking maybe this one will finally work out. Then nothing. After doing that over and over, it’s hard not to start wondering if you’re the problem.
I built a startup too. Put a lot of my own money into it because I really believed it could work. It failed. And now I’m here trying to figure out how to start again when I don’t even have the hope I had when I started.
I don’t expect everything to come easily. I just wish something would work out. Even something small that would make me feel like all this effort is taking me somewhere.
Man, I’m tired 😭 I don’t even know what to do with my days anymore. Apply again? Build something else? I keep asking myself what’s next and I have no answer.
And honestly, some of my thoughts lately worry me. I’ve caught myself wondering whether getting high and forgetting everything would be easier. I find myself talking more to people struggling with addiction, and I’m starting to understand wanting a break from your own reality. I never thought I’d be in a place where that would sound appealing to me.
I don’t know if I need career advice right now or if I just need someone to hear me. It’s hard to admit how badly you’re doing when you wish you had better news to share.
Has anyone here been this lost? What helped you get through the days when you couldn’t see things getting better?
I think I just don’t want to feel alone in this right now.